I have also seen a different aspect of the need for appreciation with professionals below the senior ranks.
Years ago, when I first started reviewing our survey data from early- to mid-career direct reports, I was initially quite surprised at what respondents most often desired “more of” from their supervisor, which was for the boss to tell them what (specifically) the boss didn’t like about what they were doing. I had wrongly assumed that most direct reports would want more praise, but what I observed is that many direct reports devalue praise if they perceive that their manager is holding back from sharing critical feedback.
In other words, I started to see how a manager who is hesitant to make a higher investment in their reports will see smaller returns.
In a world where the expression “I appreciate you” has become a ubiquitous, low investment salutation, leaders are wise to embrace appreciation as an indispensable leadership tool that is about much more than a feel-good moment.
Reflecting on appreciation as a practice, I discovered some insights that make it less abstract and therefore more accessible for caring professionals. The definitions section is a good place to start.
Appreciation as a word has a remarkably multi-dimensional meaning. Whether looking at the verb or noun forms, the full definition includes the concepts of acknowledgment, full recognition, gratitude, and an increase in value.
I like to simplify it this way: To appreciate another person means (1) I see you, (2) I value you, and (3) I’m invested in your growth.
I have also come to view this three-part definition as an “investment scale,” where (1) is a result of low investment and (3) is a result of high investment, where investment is akin to vulnerability. A higher investment behavior, therefore, is a behavior that requires more vulnerability.
I started to see the definition through the lens of this investment scale from my study of the behavioral research of the late Dr. Irv Rubin. He was an M.I.T. behavioral scientist who set out to discover a knowable universe of specific behaviors that are recognized by humans as leading to a positive, win-win exchange. As part of that research, he identified six specific behaviors that were most associated with appreciation. He organized them by investment level.
When I connected Dr. Rubin’s research with the dictionary definition of the word “appreciate,” along with my own observations from working with leadership teams on interpersonal communication, I had a real ‘a-ha’ moment.
What I began to fully recognize is that the low investment behaviors communicate to someone that you are paying attention to what they are doing. When I can sense that you are pleased or displeased, I know that at some level you see me. This is certainly preferable to being ignored, so it is “low investment,” not “no investment.”