The Attuned Writer Fellowship: Founder Favorites

Being an entrepreneur and a startup founder, I keep learning over and over that the reason for creating something—in my case Attuned—is so important to remember and articulate. It gives direction to where you want to go, it helps everyone align, and it brings a sense of real meaning to not only yourself, but the whole team. The lesson I keep learning is that I need to mention it clearly, early in the conversation, and repeatedly. So when Tania chose to open her first newsletter with the “Why?”, written clearly, passionately, and in her very human way, I was impressed. I wish I had done that as clearly, and as well, in the earlier days of my startup.

It was very early—Post #2: ‘Why Would Anyone Climb 3,000 Feet Without a Rope?’—when I first had a great feeling about this project. It was a mixture of feelings, and if I try to pull them apart, I think it was relief, certainly optimism and anticipation, stimulation, and just overall excitement, that “Yes!”, this was going to work. It was not only the quality of the writing and the storytelling, but also the selection of the topic, which happened to match my engagement with Alex’s documentary, Free Solo, a little while before. This was an emotionally impactful WWA post for me.

The title of Post #75: ‘Why Would Anyone Stay in Touch?’ grabbed me instantly, and I particularly identified with the line: “I am wary of prescriptions, especially ‘productivity hacks’.” Being in tech, in startup land, productivity hacks are all around. A virtual religion in fact. And in a land of believers, I too am deeply skeptical about how good they really are for you on a human level.

Getting into the heart of the post, on feeling guilty about not doing enough to maintain friendships, Tania writes “Ouch, Vikki, I feel this.” In my head, I could hear myself saying “I feel it too!” It’s a special moment when your experience and worldview and feelings on a tricky subject converge with the writer, and I felt that here.

The post was, as always, very thoughtful, insightful and well-written, and Tania helped me with a subject I’d been wrestling with, personally carrying a lot of guilt about for quite a while.

I found the idea of “Scruffy Hospitality” particularly resonant. As Oliver Burkeman writes in the quote Tania shares:

“Scruffy hospitality means you hunger more for good conversation and serving a simple meal of what you have, not what you don’t have. Scruffy hospitality means you’re more interested in quality conversation than the impression your home or lawn makes. If we only share meals with friends when we’re excellent, we aren’t truly sharing life together.”

Rather than procrastinating, Tania’s idea to just send a quick lower-case, imperfect message—“hi!! how are you”—seems so right, and I, and probably a lot of people, would do well to internalize this and make it part of my friendship practice, rather than being so tough on myself.

Amidst a busy life, subscribing to even a few newsletters can often add to the feeling of being overwhelmed, i.e. that there is just so much that I need to do. The “Three Things That Got Me Thinking” series Tania introduced was the perfect antidote to that feeling. I could still feel accomplished, and get all the insights, but I could get it as a light, manageable snack to partake whenever I had a few moments.

Post #58 was a particular favorite as it gave me permission to read in a more healthy way. I’d been habituated to feel that I needed to read every word of every book I started. It was a real energy-burning struggle I’d wrestled with for a long time, as, of course, there were books that just weren’t enjoyable, real slogs. The way the advice was written helped me to move past this hang-up and become a more mentally healthy reader. Now I read multiple books at once, put them down whenever I want (even after just a few pages), don’t pick them up for a long time, or start in the middle if I feel like it—and I don’t have any guilt about it. Thank you for the push Tania, that made my life better.

Post #61: ‘Why Would Anyone Massacre Children?’ was unexpected. I didn’t think Tania would take the newsletter into this territory. But I’m grateful that she did.

One of the emergency paramedics that responded after the Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde is a good friend. I’ve been to Uvalde, so it felt close. Until Tania’s post I’d been experiencing it as a tragedy, meaning it was a mass of feelings and tangled thought, with a sense that I needed to do something. This post gave me clarity, and deep insight. It brought me back to a more reasoned and thoughtful framing of the gun violence and mass shooting discussion that plagues the US. The newsletter helpfully closed with a link to things we could do, signing off with Tania’s signature humanity: “We can care for ourselves, and for the people around us, today.” If we all did that, I’m sure the world would be a better place.

“Hello smart ones!”, “Bonjour tout le monde!”, and “Bonjour bonjour” all feel so instantly welcoming. I write a lot of emails to fairly big audiences, and I felt the way that Tania made you feel happy to be there with her, that warm greeting on opening her newsletter, was special. It delivers. Whatever comes after is either just alpha, or has been set up by this warmth so that you engage with the topic more deeply. I need to do this more in my writing.

In Japan, there are lots of “Say aisatsu” (greetings) signs. When I first came here I used to scoff at them, wondering why they would use such big signs, in such prominent places, so often, for something so basic and obvious. But as I get older, I’ve become much more aware of the importance of a simple “aisatsu”. Tania helped me learn this lesson all over again, and gave me inspiration on how I could bring warmth and connection to my own updates and newsletters.

Maybe I’m a bit of a geek, but I read Tania’s footnotes religiously. Some of the best, most insightful, or just fun thoughts are in there. Often the phrasing is interesting as it is usually less edited. Tania’s frequent use of footnotes have always been little intellectual joy nuggets for me. I clicked on every link there, and read (almost) every one with a smile on my face.

So those are my favorites—although I could easily have picked a completely different set that would have been equally meaningful. What have been yours?

Or, if you haven’t got hooked on Why Would Anyone yet, do yourself a favor and subscribe today. It’s completely free, and it might just change your life for the better. Trust me on that one.